Where The Fuck Are The Garbage Bags?

Just a man trying to figure out where the fuck the Super Fresh on 5th Street in Philadelphia keeps their garbage bags
I’m too fat to come into work today.
-I wish I could use this!!!

I’m too fat to come into work today.

-I wish I could use this!!!

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siphotos:

Pete Rose dives into third base during a 1975 game between the Cubs and Reds. (Heinz Kluetmeier/SI)
GALLERY: Rare Photos of Pete Rose

My uncle was a huge Pete Rose fan. Awesome photo from my birth year!

siphotos:

Pete Rose dives into third base during a 1975 game between the Cubs and Reds. (Heinz Kluetmeier/SI)

GALLERY: Rare Photos of Pete Rose

My uncle was a huge Pete Rose fan. Awesome photo from my birth year!

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People have reblogged my shit…

…and that makes me feel only moderately shitty. Thank you, Tumblronians!

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I feel like this all the time at work.

I feel like this all the time at work.

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There are a lot of people here!

In January of this year, I moved to Philadelphia from a small town north of Harrisburg. I’ve lived in several states and cities, but had never lived in a city. As of the 2010 census, Philadelphia had 1,526,006 residents, which makes the “City of Brotherly Love” the 5th-most populous city in the United States.

Philadelphia View

Coming from small towns, I’m still amazed at how many places are within walking distance. I’ve been able to get rid of my car and walk to work each day and that has made me a happy camper.

My main issue with living in the city is how many people are walking around. Each time I walk out my door, I feel like I’ve walked into a scene from The Walking Dead, except that now that the weather is getting better, I’ve noticed there are some interesting clothing choices. Ok, I’ll get to the point. I’m not a big fan of people and I feel like they’re cramping my style in Philly. I enjoy walking around, but the only time I feel like I can walk around in peace is on Saturday and Sunday mornings when the city is still sleeping. I feel like I’m wasting my life away inside the house and don’t know how to become more out-going or tolerant of all these walking bodies.

One thing I’m fascinated about is how different parts of the city are truly different, and in some cases, different sides of the same street can have such a different vibe. For example, the south side of South Street seems safer than the north side of South Street. Weird? I know!

I added a Disqus comment system at the end of each of my blog posts. Use it! :)

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Why am I so vulgar?

You might be asking yourselves why a person would make such a vulgar name for a website. I mean think about it, how can anybody feel comfortable telling people about the site if they must say, “hey, there’s a really cool website and the address is http://wherethefuckarethegarbagebags.tumblr.com?”

That little detail really wasn’t my concern when I created the site. My main concern on May 14, 2012 was the location of garbage bags at the local Superfresh grocery store on 5th Street in Philadelphia. I spent the afternoon of the 14th, suffering from a pretty severe stomach ache and I wanted to go straight home to rest, but also knew that I needed to buy

Superfresh on 5th Street

garbage bags, plastic utensils, Jarlsberg Swiss cheese, and skim milk. After remembering what Rambo went through in First Blood Parts I and II, I decided to fight through my stomach pains and walk to Superfresh for the items listed above. Every little step I took caused more and more pain, but I started gaining hope that my trip wouldn’t be much longer after gathering all the items on my list, except for the garbage bags. I looked through the common sense aisles for the garbage bags three or four times, thinking the bags must be next to the paper plates or dish detergent or dog food. Garbage bags couldn’t possibly be amongst food items, right? Who would want to see food and then garbage bags during their shopping experience? Well, the person who put together the fucking plan-o-gram for Superfresh must eat out of the garbage, because that mother-effer hid the bags right there next to the cans of soup.

I bought the garbage bags and rushed home to rest the remainder of the night. Obviously, the frustration of finding Superfresh garbage bags was intense, considering the fact that I name this website after the experience.

Please stay tuned for updates to this site every few years. I don’t have time for shitty websites with really long names.

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